Alright my friends,
We gotta talk about that bitch, anxiety.
I started last week off feeling fantastic, and as the days ticked down to Friday I scrambled to collect my thoughts in order to write my next blog post. I kept trying to force myself to be better. Sleeping very little, and overwhelming myself with doing this that and the other. I thought , it’s been worse, and could always be worse, so suck it up and keep pushing forward...and then. it’s like a car hitting you, going 90 mph.. Ducking into your lane, like, hey there, how ya doin, I’m just going to be here now. It’s that intense and sudden panic that makes you feel like instantly backing away to find the nearest hole to curl up in. It doesn’t come with many signs. No caution tape, flashy red signs, or flags being waved. Anxiety just shows up and expects you to figure out how to to get rid of it. 1 in 4 adults have anxiety. Whether it is generalized anxiety or social anxiety, it comes in many forms and affects everyone differently.
It’s a reminder that self care always has been, and always will be most important. There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving your soul a little love when ya need it. There are times now where I forget that I’m still healing, and might as well of been running with my eyes closed. I end up getting too focused on the future, and not enough of where I am right now. Before seeking help, I don’t think I realized the severe need for self care, I figured, I could patch myself back up when I got a break. You know the saying, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. I used to say that a lot. That break never comes. Or when it does, there are too many other things to do.
I look around me and end up seeing a lot of people in the same boat, just running on E. Going from work, to school, to a second job, to coming home and being tired of being so damn sick and tired. We wear ourselves down and burn ourselves out with constant reminders of what we need to do next, and expect that when we are able to heal, that we can. We can’t force mental health, we just have to listen to it, live in the moment, and let things happen naturally, because that’s when life is best. Nothing in life that is done well, is done in a rush.
I will shout it from the rooftops. Everyone needs a little more self care.