I was once a blueberry bush.

Updated: Jan 30, 2019

Over the past few weeks, I have been pruning the blueberry bushes here on the homestead... Do you know just how many freaking little branches there are. Seems as though maybe a year or so of over growth.I can't imagine trying to pick the berries if the bush would have been left untouched for another year.

Well, merp.. I can. It would resemble a wild bush; the berries would be tiny due to the amount of branches left on the bush. But, if you thin them out, the energy the bush produces will go towards growing some of the biggest most flavorful blueberries. ...It was at that moment that I realized I was once a blueberry bush.

A shelf full of books I hadn't read, knick knacks and items that didn't have any meaning. Looking to what immediately surrounded me, I asked myself, did they add value to my life? One shelf, then another, boxes turned into bags full of stuff that gave me no value. Phew.  That felt pretty good.. *Glances at closet.* I sought control. I grew tired of dying my hair and buying new items in order to have some sort of semblance in being who I was, as if having some sort of identity crisis. Bags full of hardly worn clothing because they didn't quite fit right or felt confident in.  Things I’d bought in hopes of making myself feel better, were on sale, or because I “needed” something to match. I didn't have many material items to begin with, but once I began viewing items in terms of added value, the bags going to goodwill began to pile up. It was weird to look at a room half empty. Feeling anxious to see it filled with something again.  But for what? These things weren't causing happiness, so why not just leave it empty for now.   Over time, I of course adjusted, I'd even admit to loving it.  I surrounded myself exclusively with things that added value to my life, and nothing that didn't (if it could be helped).  Who knew the panic of "ohh crap. I have 3 minutes before I need to leave for work, what the hell am I going to wear." Could be skipped ...which... honestly, the main goal at that point went to making sure that, if worse came to worse, at least the "good bits" were covered. *shrug*.

What started with a shelf, ended up applying to each facet of my life. No longer having to sort through countless items that caused negative feelings, my days started to become more and more simple.

-Making fewer decisions each day ✔